Last chemo is a wrap

I'm grateful to have finished the 6th cycle of chemotherapy today. I didn't have to miss one cycle, held my own with the big boys, carboplatin and taxol. I didn't do it alone. I had my patient daughter, Bridgett, with me for every single one. Even after her own pregnancy ended up in a c-section, she made it to my April 28th cycle, Ella Amberley only 1 week old, came along. Her amazing dedication and love for me and seeing to my every need, made this experience tolerable. And to be able to come home to my husband after these treatments, when I couldn't even think about food to sustain me, he would console me and run through the list of possibilities one more time until he came up with the perfect one.
Even though I will continue with the clinical trial, at least the worst is over, I hope.

I'm still a Mother

Everything I was BC (before cancer) is the same as it is now. Since I'm still doing chemotherapy, with one treatment left this month, technically I'm in a holding mode for diagnosis. The last CT scans showed nothing "suspicious" a cop-out way for radiologists to be safe when writing their reports. The way I see it, I either have it or I don't and I prefer to believe the latter. Just say that I'm not suspicious of the suspicious. The severity of side effects and the number of odd differences in my physical self can attest to the fact that the drugs have shaken up those crappy cells determined to eat away at my good cells. I'm confident I am receiving the immunotherapy (mystery clinical trial experimental drug, Avastin) and it is vacuuming up those deceased cancer boogers and I am blowing them out of my nose. Interesting theory, eh? I will have a news conference on my findings and opinions when I have the time to talk to my committee that lives in my brain and keeps me awake some nights until I scribble them down haphazardly on a bedside notepad in the dark.

Meanwhile, I will enjoy the next week and a half I have before I go in for my last treatment and that includes being honored for the chance to do the best job ever: being a Mother.